Dear Diary
by Claret Marionette
Summary: What do you get if you assign a human ice block a mission to keep and write a diary? You get the key to his head, of course.


**Desclaimer: No, I do not own Naruto. I do not even own a freaking diary.**

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Dear diary,

Yes. This is a diary. No, I'm not gay.

Despite my protests, Gai-sensei insists that I should start my own diary. Not even a journal, but a freaking _diary_. Something about it helping me with my emotions and stuff. As if writing in bland papers is going to make me more expressive. Why doesn't he understand that no, I do _not_ want to talk 24/7?

But here I am, writing down my "feelings" instead of doing something useful, like training; or something worthwhile, like training; or something fun and interesting, like training.

I don't see the point in this. I really don't.

But anyone who knows that idiotic sensei of mine knows that he can be very _very_ persuasive. He's not as dumb as he looks, you know?

Wait, why am I asking a question to an inanimate object?

Something is seriously so wrong with me.

I don't know what Tenten is going to do if I lose my sanity. Poor girl. She has no one but me to rely on. If I go insane too, she'll probably end up murdering all three of us. Then she'll be punished for killing a shinobi of Konoha; her team, no less. Then she'd probably run away from here and they'd label her as a rogue ninja and she'd have to live doing dirty works for anyone who would hire her and she'd be living on stolen food and in a cheap motel surrounded by those filthy creatures that are excuses for men and -

Wait, where am I going with this?

Kami, she'd never run away in the first place. She's too loyal for that. She'd never do dirty works for others because she has a moral she believes in.

Although, I can't say she wouldn't kill us..

In fact, if I lose my sanity and join _Lee_ and _Gai sensei_ and start wearing a _green spandex_, I'd ask her -no, _beg_ her to kill me.

Death would be a heaven compared to those two idiots.

Shit, why am I talking about my team? I should be writing about fighting styles and how to strengthen my attacks and how to get Naruto to stop calling me a 'poker' because according to him, not only do I have a perfect poker face, I also poke people to death. I don't know how many times I've told that hyperactive idiot that _I do not poke people to death_ but he just won't listen.

I mean, seriously. It's called 'jyuuken'. I _jyuuken_ people to death, not poke them.

Jyuuken is the secret Hyuuga art of touching the tenketsu points with our fingers to stop the chakra flowing along them and immobilizing the ene-

Okay, I poke people to death.

But I have to save my face, and the Hyuugas', from the public, don't I?

We'd be a laughing stock if people heard that we poke enemies to death.

God, I can already see people talking about Hyuugas.

"Hey, did you hear about the Hyuugas?"

"Nope, are they amazing?"

"Nah. I heard they poke people to death."

"Seriously? Gosh, that's so lame!"

"Totally!"

See? We'd be a laughing stock.

I've got to go for dinner. The maids never come to call me because I'm really awesome and I have an amazing sense of time and I always reach the dining room on time.

Did I mention that I'm awesome. Well, yeah, I'm awesome.

Anyway, I'm going now. I'll probably mull about the Hyuugas being a laughing stock while I'm having dinner. That way, my mind will be too occupied to snap at any idiotic Hyuugas that make idiotic comments.

Seriously, you'd think they'd have _some_ brains, coming from such a renowned family. You'd be surprised to find just how stupid some people here are.

Damn it. I'm two minutes late and it's all your fault, you stupid good-for-nothing notebook.

I'm going.

Yes, I still think having a diary is very _un_-manly and stupid.

-Neji

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**a/n:** Konichiwa, mina-san! I know, I know. I haven't updated in a while and my NejiTenten moments is stuck in the 5th chapter and I'm starting another story. Bear with me, though. I haven't had a chance to use proper internet for the last six months. Eleventh grade is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeally hard. It sucks. I've had exams after exams after exams. In fact, I just finished my second term yesterday. Gonna get killed when the results come out x.x

But I've got internet now, and I've typed up a few chapters for NTM :) I'll probably update weekly from now on :) So, see you!

And oh yeah! I changed my penname. Again ^_^' I swear I'll stick around with this one!


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